Fitgrrrl

I’m sure no one is dropping by regularly to see what happened in the soap opera that is fitgrrrl vs. the fitness dock. Almost six months on and i’ve managed to remember i have a blog that needs updating and that maybe, just maybe, somebody cares how it all turned out. I have been surprised, really surprised.

That phonecall I got from senior management at the gym? It was a very apologetic sales & marketing person - board & family member to the fitness dock no less - and she couldn’t apologise and empathise enough. I guess she was doing some research prior to a sales push and found my previous letter/post to them and after a brief investigation she got the full embarrassing scoop on what exactly had happened to me… the membership cancellation, the not-so-subtle sales call, the unfortunate collection agency threats and subsequent collection agency final demands. So she called me and apologised - just like that. And not a word was said against this blog, not even a suggestion of asking me to remove my post. I was pretty impressed and any teensy bit of fight I had left in me evaporated - she won me over in a most disarming manner.

We had a good chat, she was embarrassed - so was I. She apologised on behalf of the company, confirmed the collection agency instruction was cancelled and requested I call her if I decided to join the gym again. We even had a brief chitchat about new developments at the gym.

The irony of this whole episode is that not long after I cancelled my membership, the Fitness Dock announced they were going 24 hours. I’d been saying for years that someone should open a 24hour gym in this city - believe me, there are enough late night restaurant/pub/bar/club workers in this town to keep it busy - and that’s not counting the insomniacs, early-risers or fitness fanatics. Seriously - 6.30am was a good opening time, but 6 would have slotted in so much better with my work location at the time. And the minute I bail on them, they give me what I wanted.

I suppose irony on top of irony: around the same time all this happened, I lost interest in almost every type of physical activity. Even my running took a nose dive and I was training for a marathon… my first marathon… results will be posted eventually.

I may not have re-joined as a member, but i will say one more thing - the Fitness Dock made good and renewed my faith in the service industry. They’re not the best gym in the city (which one is?!), but no worse than the next. Now that they’ve got someone on the ball in there, I look forward to seeing what they offer next.

Voicemail on my phone today from one very professional & concerned senior management rep of the Fitness Dock. She asked me to call, apologised more times than necessary for the membership-cancellation fiasco and left her mobile number. I listened to the message at least four times between leaving the restaurant after lunch and returning to work, which takes about three minutes. I’m feeling so smug and not at all as small as smug looks on other people.

I can’t wait to call her back!

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You see that tower there? That’s the CN Tower - Canadian National Tower. I love it. Not least because for the directionally-challenged, it is a beacon in a city of skyscrapers. It is my south.

…and I don’t want to lay eyes on it for a long time. No matter how fast or slow I ran I could neither escape nor reach it. So close but so, so far away. And even at my back, there was little comfort as it was at least 3 kilometres from my final destination, aka ‘my final resting place’.

CN Tower, you let me down. You are not the centre of Toronto and within easy reach of all attractions. You are set in a valley, an uphill exit surrounded by a dusty wasteland of parking lots and concrete flyovers. You are not a pleasure to hang around.

There isn’t one. The bullying continues… on receipt of my (cheeky) letter, below, to the Fitness Dock, I got a puffed up voicemail from the manager of the Dublin city centre gym acknowledging receipt of the letter but closing with “the fact of the matter is, Fitgrrrl, you owe us the money”.

Then a few days later the lovely John (at least i think he said ‘John’), and yes I know I’m not the only person who finds him lovely, left a garbled message: something about head office receiving my letter and that they’d get back to me in due course.

Head office do not respond to letters as swiftly as they do to unpaid cancellation fees; I haven’t heard a word since. Nor did they bother their, presumably fit and well toned, ar*ses to reply to my letter.

What to do, what to do…

I am learning an important lesson, one that will be painfully - and i mean painfully - clear in a week or so: Unlike most exams, one cannot cram for a marathon.

Did you see me today? I could be found along this route at various stages during the morning over 3 hours 20 minutes. Did it kill me? Not quite, but close…

I hate bullies. I am currently being bullied over something that is not directly my fault. We’ve all heard the gym-membership-fee-and-cancellation-policy rants on Joe Duffy show and perhaps my response is the blog equivalent and as unnecessary as my gym’s threats, but out of principle, i really do not want to pay that fee and especially after they start dropping ‘debt collector’ into correspondence…

Accounts Department
Fitness Dock
1-4 Lower Camden Street
Dublin 2

10 September, 2007

Re: Final Reminder of Outstanding Fees – Amount €61.00

Dear Accounts Department

I confirm receipt of your letter of 17, August 2007, and refer to same.

It was with great displeasure & disappointment that I returned from holidays to discover that after more than two years as a paying member of the Fitness Dock I am under threat of a ruined credit rating for alleged non-payment of membership fees.

As explained to the Accounts Department, I followed procedure in cancelling my membership and was aware of the one-month cancellation ‘fee’ that equates to one month’s membership fee. I fully intended on paying the ‘fee’ despite the fact that I would not be using the membership. As directed by a Fitness Dock representative, I cancelled my monthly direct debit payment with my bank believing that the final ‘cancellation’ payment would be withdrawn.

As luck would have it my bank processed the direct debit cancellation immediately and the Fitness Dock were unable to collect the cancellation fee; a fee that I agreed to pay. Rather serendipitous for me!

Given that the fee was only seventeen days in arrears when I received the final reminder notice, I find your threatening action to be excessive and unnecessary.

I would like to point out that I have been a ‘dream’ member of the Fitness Dock. My attendance has been, at best, occasional. I never used the shower facilities preferring to shower in my home; I attended and followed the fitness programme of a personal trainer therefore rarely, if ever, required the time and assistance of a Fitness Dock staff member (unless a machine was working incorrectly). For several months I have been training outdoors for a marathon and haven’t used Fitness Dock facilities. I didn’t hog the machines and I didn’t sweat all over the equipment. I purchased the Fitness Dock own-brand water – I ‘get’ how these things work, I benefit from cheap bottled water, the Fitness Dock sells more ‘stuff’, creates revenue, maybe passes it back to me through improved services.

I would also like to point out that on the 25 July 2007, the day I emailed my cancellation notice, I received a call from a Fitness Dock member’s rep. Bernard or Brian or Brendan (name escapes me) pleasantly asked how I was doing, if I was enjoying the summer and, with as much nonchalance as he could muster, asked how I was ‘getting on in the gym’ and offered to help me with a programme or see if there was anything he could do for me. Bernard/Brian/Brendan feigned surprise when I informed him that less than two hours previous to his call, I cancelled my membership. He half-heartedly asked me if there was anything he could do to make me change my mind about leaving the Fitness Dock. It felt sneaky and embarrassing. I may be stupid enough to pay €61 a month for something I don’t use, but believing Bernard/Brian/Brendan’s call was a genuine, caring coincidence – well, frankly, no one is that stupid. It was a poor attempt to keep me paying for something I no longer wanted or needed.

Why did no one ask me to stay when I emailed my cancellation notice? Why, when I enquired a few months ago about annual membership vs. direct debit, did someone attempt to charge me more than the current price? Why, in the entire 2+ years I was a member in the Fitness Dock did no one write or call to ask if I want a new training programme?

And why is the Fitness Dock threatening debt-collection and a damaged credit rating for €61? The unpaid €61 is a mistake – a mistake that doesn’t really hurt anyone. I haven’t used your facilities, I haven’t been a difficult customer and I haven’t exactly been pampered to death with first class customer care.

Therefore, with respect, I request that this matter be dropped and the outstanding €61 written off.

I look forward to your response and resolving this matter as soon as possible.

Yours Sincerely,
etc. etc.

Has running ever got you jailed, shot at or chased by armed men? No? Clearly you’re not doing it right… like Robert Garside, the British Runningman who has officially been recognised by Guinness World Records as the first person to run around the world - an amazing 48,000 kilometre six-year trek. Crazy!

Having just returned from a little trip to the UK, everything is still all work-and-feet-related.

I got myself sized up for my very own custom-made orthotics. It’s as simple as: position your foot over a box of compressable foam and then “crush” down to create an impression of the foot. I was terribly excited to try out the “crush box” (aka: impression box) - it looks as satisfying as popping bubble wrap, alas it’s not, the foam is a bit too dry and crumbly. Anyway, being a fan of Discovery Channel’s How it’s Made, I was really, really, really hoping they’d make it for me on the spot, but the machines were in use and there are a few steps to the final product; cad drawings and the like.

Needless to say I can’t wait to get the new orthotics. I’m now almost positive it’s my new Asics that are causing the niggly little foot and knee complaints I’ve been experiencing. Oddly enough though I am also thinking it’s driving that could also be causing a problem - since i’ve started commuting to work every day my knees are sore. So, between dodgy shoes, poor desk posture, metatarsal pain, overpronation and clutching & braking I’m a bit of a mess and expect my new orthotics to fix a lot of problems, not to mention play their part in keeping me employed.

So, these days it’s all about the feet. My own are not in good shape, mostly due to my new shoes, which are not as great as I thought. But feet are also on my brain from a work point of view. And so I’m gonna share some not so fascinating facts with you…

* The average adult takes in excess of 18,000 steps a day and it’s even more for kids.
* Most feet walk about 70,000 miles in a lifetime - that’s four times around the earth.
* Leonardo da Vinci called the foot a masterpiece of engineering.
* Each foot has 26 bones, 19 muscles, over 100 ligaments and thousands of nerve endings.
* Every time your foot hits the floor when walking it’s the equivalent of twice your body weight. Running increases this to up to three times your body weight.
* The foot has 250,000 sweat glands releasing about a quarter pint of perspiration every day.
* Around 70% of foot problems come from wearing the wrong footwear or ill-fitting shoes. The majority of these are caused by ill-fitting footwear worn as a child.
* Over £30 million is spent annually on chiropody services for the over 60s and most of these foot problems can be attributed to badly fitting shoes or unsuitable footwear in childhood.

A QUARTER pint?! That’s mad. However, I’m rather smug with the news that it’s childhood footwear that likely causes most foot problems. My mother was forever telling my teenage self to stop wearing pointy-toed, high-heeled, flimsy shoes as i’d regret it later. I can’t wait to inform her that my current feet issues may be as a result of her neglect. HA!

Got this notice from Outsider Magazine this morning - looks interesting. Certainly looks inspiring, I only wish I could attend as I could do with a dose of inspiration.

Life Without Limits Tour Comes to Ireland

In the world of free-soloing, few would question that Michael Reardon makes for one of the most colourful characters around. His achievements as a climber are legendary and he courts controversy wherever he goes - mainly because of his maverick approach and no-holds barred honesty.

Romantic Warrior, Sea of Tranquility, Shikata Ga Nai, Ireland, England, and 1,000 routes in 30 days at Joshua Tree…. all achieved by Michael Reardon without the sniff of a harness or rope in sight. An interactive slide show and motivational speaking presentation about what it’s like to face the ultimate challenge of being a free solo rock climber. Hear about the focus, training, and determination it takes to repeatedly push beyond personal limits to gain the rewards of life through Michael’s climbing adventures around the world. Come share the fun, the slander, and the whiskey- inspired tales of a life without limits.

Here’s a sample of what can be expected in the slide show:

Details: Tuesday, January 30th - 8pm- Westwood Clontarf (Bar Code) Thursday, February 1st - 8pm - Kate Kearney’s Cottage, Killarney Tickets available from: www.outsider.ie Great Outdoors Dublin Sport Corrán Tuathail - Killarney Westwood Fitness Centres - Dublin
Event is supported by : The Great Outdoors - Dublin, Sport Corran Tuathail - Killarney Westwood Fitness Centres - Dublin Berghaus - Trust is Earned

I love it when a plan works. Here I am moaning on about how new year resolutions are rarely adhered to, how they are mostly a useless imposition of denial that only ends in failure and self-loathing - when lo and behold an email hits my inbox with glowing reports of one of my favourite couple’s success with a NYR diet. More a re-design on eating; whatever you call it it’s working a treat in the most remarkable ways…

“The rest of yesterday was spent sleeping and eating. Eating good food though … I’ve lost 3 Ibs so far and TF, 4. So we’re both making an effort … TF ordered SALAD on Saturday night - and yes hell did freeze over and flying pigs were spotted flying over the city centre on Saturday night!! I haven’t said much to him about it in case it makes him never eat it again but just for a couple of seconds, conversation did stall at our table when he ordered it ”

HA! And you know what? DG isn’t injecting as much sarcasm in that paragraph as you would think. I’ve eaten with TF and I’ve heard the stories. The success of this plan isn’t that they’re down 7lbs, it’s that his eating habits are changing. Ordering salad is a risque move, to say the least. So here’s a toast to new year resolutions, the power of commitment can move people in mysterious ways.

And long may it last - I look forward to salad at the wedding!

I don’t know what it’s like to run in snow and when I say “run” i mean running or jogging for fitness not chasing someone down with a giant snowball in hand. Wouldn’t that be nice? A snowball fight? This is a plea to the weather gods or a general request to the universe (it’s also a slightly homesick whine).

I want some snow! I want to see nothing but white - my retinas burnt; I want my lungs to clench in shock with an inbound whooosh of icy air; I want my boots to squeak & crunch through a smooth, hardened top-layer of snow making my spine tingle, like nails on a chalkboard; I want ’snow-volume’, when everything sounds quieter, slightly muffled.

For the love of any god, it’s January! There are no bank holidays in sight, mornings are dark and afternoons darker, the bills are in and payday is a long way off… it is imperative that we sit indoors, cup of tea in hand, head trained to the window naturally decompressing, slipping down gently into a dreamy state of relaxation in tandem with the drifting, swirling, floating flakes.

I don’t have the energy to rage with the wind and rain that is battering Dublin. So please, just one day, let it snow. It is not too much to ask and I promise i’ll run.

Well, that’s a rather pleasing result: I have run for two of the three days of ‘07. I’ve been so afraid of running outdoors lately - all that cold and rain and wet and wind just screams to stay inside, so i’ve been hitting the treadmill instead. Today though it was practically sweltering outside (or at least that’s how i felt dressed in a massive woolly polo-neck and thermal winter coat), so I knew I had no excuse not to get out there. I realise, with hindsight, the wind would have been an excellent excuse - it was strong and coming from all directions, just how i hate it.

Still, I stuck at it and loved it. Even all the hard bits. I especially loved running past the long rows of commuters, stuck in their stuffy heated cars, in their worn, crumpled suits, smelling like their office and there was I: outdoors in the fresh air, alert, sweating, close to limping and hacking up a lung.

I retract some of what i said about new year’s resolutions. I do make them, when bribed. I resolve to start making some moolah with this blog.

I’ll start with a fiver. Actually, proving how easily i can be bribed, it’s not even a fiver. According to xe.com, this post should earned me a whopping €3.80, that’s US$5…

I just bought a CF memory card for my swanky new camera and the good folk over at www.Flash-Memory-Store.com are refunding me five buckeroos if I post a link on my website. So there you go, flashmemorystore, flashmemorystore,flashmemorystore… I wonder if that’ll score me additional rebates. I doubt it, tonnes more spam more like.

So if, unlike me, you believe in new year’s resolutions but are still stuck for a good one, I’d like to encourage you to go Karnazes. Go hardcore. No, no Karnazes is not the latest fitness trend, it’s a guy, one Dean Karnazes who went from slobbering drunk to perfect human by, among other things, giving up kryptonite and getting stuck on krazy glue…

The air was cool, slightly damp from the fog, and Karnazes was in a residential neighborhood, burping tequila, with no pants on. He felt ridiculous, but it brought a smile to his face. He hadn’t had this much fun in a long time. So he decided to keep running…. wired.com

It is the two-faced Janus, mythical king of Rome, who appears responsible for New Year’s Resolutions; he was placed head of the calendar and with a face looking forward and one backward, he could review the past while looking to the future. Hence he became the symbol for resolutions. In the year 153 BC. So all that means is people have been breaking their Jan-1 resolutions for well over 2,000 years.

It would appear that not even advertisers believe we’ll keep our resolutions - proof is this year’s round up of “resolution ads”. Both Boots and Kellogg’s are re-running last year’s ad. Boots still want us to change one thing, presumably that’s to buy more crap from Boots. And once again, Kellogg’s want us to drop a size by eating Special K, i.e., buy more crap from Kellogg’s. Ah, I get it.

I don’t even manage to achieve the good resolutions, for example, new year’s resolution 2004 was to “show more leg”. I’ve got okay legs, I have some lovely heels and who doesn’t like wearing skirts and dresses?! A perfectly achievable new year’s resolution that I still managed to fail, mostly because I may buy lots of skirts & heels, but i live in jeans & flats. So once again, with one exception *, I’m not making new year’s resolutions - I do not want to subject myself to the pressure or the failure.

* The exception? To not buy Kellogg’s Special K, in protest over that stupid ad.

If you’re looking for new running shoes, head to Arnott’s. Got the ‘06 Asics Kayanos yesterday for €80 - that’s €50 less than KG paid for them! We may look ridiculous in matching shoes - but i’ll be the one with the smug smile for saving a packet.

If Asics aren’t your thing, other shoes are up to 50% off. When you’re finished in the sports department, head up to lingerie where Shock Absorbers** are 20% off! … remember: Unsupported breasts bounce up to 14 centimetres during exercise. And i can confirm, after the struggle i had in the changeroom, getting into the cross-the-back shock absorber I bought is a workout in itself.

** don’t watch that video, it’s ugly! Mind you, if you bounce & wobble through a workout, DO watch it, then get a sports bra.

More development going on here at FG HQ… and i should warn you i’m far from a developer, but thankfully google is relatively foolproof.

I’m building a directory of all things health & fitness for Ireland with a slight focus on Irish women. You can test it in the right side-bar under the main FG search box; enter your search term then hit “Search Ire”. Of course, the results are only as good as the content, so if anyone has any relevant sites to add, please email me.

Riddle me this Google: how can i keep track of my runs and post them easily to this blog?

Ah, here’s how. Clearly I’m a bit slow to have only thought of it today.

So, welcome to the new run calendar where i’ll be posting time/distance details of all (read: any) of my runs. While December is currently blank, I can confirm I made it out a few times early in the month. Alas, all I got for Christmas was a giant dose of other people’s germs and I’m now my very own little coughing, spluttering, wheezing, sneezing germ factory. But in the spirit of positive thinking I’m hoping to at least take to a treadmill tomorrow… with or without my lungs.

Oh and the calendar is meant to help me keep track of those (currently undefined) goals…

Santa Claus is coming to town….

…and he’s red hot and sweaty if this picture is anything to go by. Some 2000+ santa-runners dressed up to take part in the Great Scottish Santa Run in Edinburgh.

A sight to behold I’m sure, but I reckon 2,000+ 4-legged reindeer would have made for a more interesting event!


p.s. photo from globeandmail.com

Ever wondered how to correctly RSVP?

Step two is my favourite: how do you feel, how do YOU feel, how do you feel… usually I feel prickly but know I have to go. Oh and tip four is something I am under-utilising; I have a multitude of special needs and perhaps a host or two could start pandering…

Oh, and as for this helpful How To; good in theory, rarely possible in practice.

I’m sure this isn’t the message that was intended, but I have to say, I wish somebody would do this to me:

A death and a course record most notably marked yesterday’s Dublin Marathon… but nothing new there at marathons, I suppose; I’m not heartless, one is wonderful the other heartrending.

But there were two lesser-reported stories that really got to me… the heart transplant recipient who spoke with eloquence on radio about what it was like to run the route past the Mater Hospital where he had his surgery and Mary Nolan Hickey the only woman to have run all Dublin Marathons to date; including one when she was 6 months pregnant.

I can’t imagine either. I bet all sorts of battles & records were won & lost on Monday.

Membership Consultant: Today is a good day, Fitgrrrl, I want to make you happy. So I’m gonna give you membership, that’s free to join, with free towels every time you work out, free personal training, up to 65 free classes per day and free guest passes. I could probably do that for eight hundred and fifty a year. *

Me: Yeah, actually, I don’t want all the free stuff. Now how much would membership be?

Membership Consultant: I could probably do that for seven hundred a year.

Riiiight. Boy, all that free stuff sure is cheap!

I’m still amazed he caved so quickly and quoted me any prices at all; I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to unless the potential new member is actually IN the gym. He did throw out a few “Come on down”’s a la Bob Barker, but we both knew the price was not right.

My own gym are no better. I want to switch from direct debit per month, to an annual fee, so I rang to enquire; he quoted me a monthly direct debit option more expensive than I’m paying right now. Genius. I explained (again) that I don’t want to pay direct debit per month, that I want to pay for an annual peak membership and he told me there are no specials on at the moment so the price depends on if I want peak or offpeak. So I explained again that I’m interested in paying for a one-year peak membership. That’d be €575/year; which means a pool is worth roughly €250/annum. What my gym have failed to realise is, if they threw in a free pool they could probably get an additional €400/annum from me.

This is fun. I’m going to ring a few more.

* (i did not make that up, he really did spiel me, verbatim)

“Cutie big assets places Lust is Bust am sneakapeek a ya buddys sis in.”

I am all spammed out.

First of all, i’m bored beyond belief with this blog. Secondly, I’m surprised beyond belief that I ran this year’s Dublin half marathon a few minutes faster than last year. Yay! Turns out there was no need for that grumpy face below.

Still running too, abeit on slower and on shorter routes than ever. I forgot, once again, that you can’t stay up late, overeat, drink, smoke and all those other rotten things we do to ourselves, and then turn around and expect to be able to run. One day I’ll learn.

And so unbelievably beyond belief is the realisation that October is our anniversary: RP and I have been running for TWO years.

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Originally uploaded by Fitgrrrl.

This is exactly how i feel about this weekend’s dublin adidas half marathon.

There is a water gun in our refrigerator. Go figure. I emailed KG in an attempt to get some info on what kind of shenanigans she got up to at the weekend; she replied with “?????”. Well, ????? indeed, I’ve barely been at home for the past 5 days, so I didn’t put it there!

It’s a little, yellow, Homer Simpson logo’d, palm-sized watergun; strategically hidden behind the milk in the shelf in the door, quarter-filled with chilled water. Clearly there is a little genius at work; a watergun attack is sneaky, but a chilled watergun attack considerably increases the shock-factor.

And that reminds me… balloons +water +3rd floor balcony. HOW did I let that idea fall by the wayside?

WHO thought there’d be a need for howtosleepcomfortablyonahotnight advice in little ole’ rainy Ireland?

I spent my formative years in a climate that often created a need for that advice, my recommendations would have been: lie very very very still or, better yet, retreat to the basement where it’s naturally cool. But then you’d often need howtosleepcomfortablythroughthedinofchripingcrickets advice; it can be deafening.

These days my advice is: a couple glasses of wine ought to do the trick. I do not, however, have advice for combating the double-whammy of heat’n'alcohol dehydration guaranteed the following morning.